Aaron Aker 2

Up Close & Personal with Aaron

Hi my name is Aaron Aker. I'm a 35 year old Caucasian, heterosexual male living with HIV. I have been married twice; divorced once and widowed once. I have two wonderful teenage boys who are my life.

I am a self employed contractor who does windows and siding and whatever other construction needs are out there. I don't have a lot but what I do have is mine and I have worked since I was 15 and will continue to work as long as I can.

I was first diagnosed in November of 2009,  at that time. I had got it from my wife whom I had  known she was positive from the time I met her. For many years we were safe and practiced safer sex practices. I also was tested every six months prior to her ending up in the hospital for the last time. I ended up with HIV and am living well with it now.

I have never had much, but what I have I love and care for. I got my HIV from my second wife and am doing what I have to; to stay alive and raise my kids in a loving, caring home.

I am here to tell my story, show my face, to help fight the stigma and show we are human beings like each and every other person out there. We are not dangerous people and we all have feelings, just like the person next to us. I want to share my strength and experience with others to show there is hope even living with HIV.

A Day in the Life of My Body

This is going to be a different writing this quarter from me. I have had a crazy emotional month and am having some troubles with all of it. Everyone talks about how we are not disabled people and yes I know some of us actually are. As far as the rest of us we are struggling everyday from the stigma we carry with us. I have had three people in the last month who have basically pushed me away because I am HIV+. For the most part I don't let them bother m e but this month has been pretty difficult. One told me they didn't want anyone knowing they was my friend because of it and one girl straight up told me there was noway we could be together because of it. I tried to explain to them how you get it and that just being friends and hanging out was all cool, then the one whom I was in the process of starting a relationship with was like “we couldn't even have a regular relationship with you having it”. I even told her that there are many who are in those types of relationships.

People expect us to keep it to ourselves and not let anyone know that we have it, guess what “WE CAN'T”!!! this is something that we have to live with the rest of our lives. I would love to be able to tell my HIV to keep it's ass home on a daily basis but I can't and it won't. I know this is my fault and I am paying for all the bad things I have done in the past. I can't change the past but I can do what I have to to help those in the future. I want to be a a mentor of some sort for those who are just finding out they are positive and show them they are still worth what they was before.

I really don't know why I have been so emotional this last month but things are really bad at the moment and I myself am feeling the pressure from others who are telling me to stop with the ads about HIV/AIDS and even had one person ask me to not where my Indiana AIDS walk t-shirt. What the hell, do they think because I have an AIDS t-shirt on they will get something from me. Come on people grow up and get a real life. There are so many people out there going around having sex with anyone they can and don't even know their status and the other persons status. Now tell me who is in the most danger when it comes to this situation. You having sex with me when I told you I have it and we use protection or having it with someone who don''t know and don't want to get tested(including yourself)?

On the good side of things I have gotten back to work part time and feeling pretty good about that,BUT it is also dragging me down as I don't have the energy I used to have to keep going after I get started. Don't get me wrong I love my job I have and won't quit doing what I am doing. It was held for me for over a year by the boss and we have become pretty good friends since I have been off work.

I want everyone to know that this isn't me and or the way I am. For the most part I am a happy go lucky person and will do anything for anyone but this is one of those times I have to sit and think do I want to keep living for everyone else or keep living for myself. I have decided to live for myself and say screw everyone else. This is my time and I am going to do anything and everything I can to make my life what I really want it to be. These people who keep bringing me down are no longer part of my life and have found a few who I thought would push me away so I kept it from them for over a year now. I recently have been in contact with them and they don't treat me or look at me any different than they did before, and are always asking if I need anything.

So when your feeling as though the world is closing in on you don't clam up and don't close everyone out. When you find someone who is being negative towards you or even putting you down because of it look them in the eye and let them know YOUR ARE BETTER than them. You can over come any obstacle that is placed in front of you and you will present yourself to make it in life as you should be doing. Life isn't about who you love or even who you know it's about what you feel about yourself and the way you put yourself out there for others to see.

Please excuse the bad grammar in this as this was written on an instant notice to myself and came straight from my heart and what I was feeling. We are all the same and we all have different feelings for others but in the end we all go to the same place no matter what we do or how we get there. Last time I checked we all bleed red and breath air. I guess what I'm trying to say even if you don't see eye to eye with someone at least check to see what their story is about before you judge them and make sure you have a reason to put them down. EVEN then you really don't have a reason to put anyone down because we all get judged in the end and we have to face the prosecution when we are gone, so why prosecute anyone while we are still here...

MUCH LOVE AND HAPPINESS TO ALL!!!