Anena Beatrice Milly

     Up Close & Personal with Anena

Hi friends, my name is Anena Beatrice Milly. I am a 42 year old heterosexual female living with HIV in Kampala, Uganda.

I have been married three times, divorced twice, and widowed once, I have three beuatiful daughters, a son, and two grandsons who are my life.

I am a self employed craft maker who makes recycle paper products such as necklaces, bracelets, handbags, earrings and belts. I earn from it through making the orders given to me by my customers. I don’t have a lot, but what I have I care for and I am proud of it.

I started struggling with life ever since I was 14 years old, and I will continue as long as I live. I was first diagnosed in September 10, 2004.  At that time I was very ill and I even didn’t know from whom I got the virus.

I know that even though people know a lot about HIV, they still they still fear to come out and share their experiences with others. I am not scared or shy to come out and show my face to the world and tell my story. We should never give up in life, no matter what difficulties we might be going through.

A Day in the Life of My Body

I got involved with my first husband who just kidnapped me when I was coming back from church. He took me with him but I did not stay with him for long because after three month my mother found out the place where we were staying and she took me home with her. It was too late because I was already pregnant.

Later I gave birth to my bouncing baby girl and continued with life. I then got my second husband with whom we brought to earth 3 children of which one was a boy and the two were girls. After some time my boy started falling so sick and eventually died.

After 10 years of marriage, my husband decided to run away with another woman and left me alone with my children. I was renting a small room for my children and myself. The situation became very hard and I had to find a job to provide for my children and pay for rent. I was employed by a security company were I worked for seven years. It was here that I fell in love with my third husband and we lived together happily for some time and I produced my last child, who was a boy.

When our child was four years old, my husband had to go to the village to meet his first wife. One morning when I was sun bathing I received a call from the village that he had passed away. That was the worst day of my life.

After three months I fell very sick and I was admitted in the hospital. While in the hospital, one of my elder sisters paid me a visit. She was not very concerned with my situation so I had to call a close friend who was living in the city. My friend rushed to come and see me, and after seeing the condition I was in, she decided to carry me with my family to the city.

When my sister found out that I was staying in the city just next to where she was, she organized to come for me, she took me to her home for a time being. After a few days I was taken the hospital for an HIV test and the results were positive.

After getting to know my status, my sister decided to rent for me a house far away from them because they thought I was going to be a problem to them. From there I was told to begin my own life. I was very sick and weak and I could not do any thing to find money for both rent and food. Lucky enough I was provided free medication and food by a world food program that was in the country from 2004 to 2007.

From there I started all over again. I decided to make recycle paper products to sell because I was to make sure I get the rent to pay school fees and feed my family, as well as medication. During my process of hard working I had a lot of discouragements;  for example when my elder sister disturbed me, abused me, and even denied me to be her sister. I felt so bad but I had to also endure to go forward; I always prayed to God to keep us alive and provide protection.

I decided I could not sit down and wait for everything to come. I continued making the paper products and afterwards I began moving to the city looking for a market to sell my products. I would only sell enough for my feeding with my family. I did that for over a year and finally I got a friend who helped me and directed me to an open market with in the city.

I am very open about living with my HIV and I enjoy educating others. There are other people with it who tend to fear and think of how they are going to survive and live with it. Many in my area tend to willingly spread it to others because they don’t want to die alone. This is improper and people should not do that. We should try our level best to prevent them from doing this. I have formed a women’s group so as to help each other in the community. What we should keep in mind is that there are those that love and care for us as human beings.

I have found people who go down and are depressed because of the HIV illness. I cannot do that because I am not different from the way I was before; only that I have got this bug in my blood and that doesn’t stop me from doing the same work that other people do. Therefore, I have to work so hard for my success. I am home less but now I have a three roomed house for me and my family. Always concentrate on achievements not failures. We are all winners in life only if we believe so. I also acknowledge my gratitude to those who have given me a hand along the way to where I am now.

I am not suggesting one should never grieve, cry or otherwise express difficult emotions, but I am pointing to the distinction between expressing natural emotions and choosing to react negatively towards the things that happen in life.

So next time all is going well and you encounter a problem, just acknowledge and accept it, deal with it and make an active choice to feel about it however you wish.

WE SHOULD NEVER LIMIT OURSELVES AND HIDE BEHIND EXCUSES BECAUSE IT’S ARROGANT AND SELFISH.

Thank you,

Anena Beatrice Milly