Aaron Aker 4

Up Close & Personal with Aaron

Hi my name is Aaron Aker. I'm a 35 year old Caucasian, heterosexual male living with HIV. I have been married twice; divorced once and widowed once. I have two wonderful teenage boys who are my life.

I am a self employed contractor who does windows and siding and whatever other construction needs are out there. I don't have a lot but what I do have is mine and I have worked since I was 15 and will continue to work as long as I can.

I was first diagnosed in November of 2009,  at that time. I had got it from my wife whom I had  known she was positive from the time I met her. For many years we were safe and practiced safer sex practices. I also was tested every six months prior to her ending up in the hospital for the last time. I ended up with HIV and am living well with it now.

I have never had much, but what I have I love and care for. I got my HIV from my second wife and am doing what I have to; to stay alive and raise my kids in a loving, caring home.

I am here to tell my story, show my face, to help fight the stigma and show we are human beings like each and every other person out there. We are not dangerous people and we all have feelings, just like the person next to us. I want to share my strength and experience with others to show there is hope even living with HIV.

A Day in the Life of My Body

This last month has been a long and painful month. For some of us we have of issues on top of the HIV. I myself have encephalopathy which causes my tremors and balance issues but my balance is pretty well taken care of and I'm still fighting my tremors. I also have severe Arthritis and Fibromyalgia which causes a lot of other problems that we have to tend to while trying to maintain a healthy life. I have been working but it finally caught up to me last week and the arthritis and Fibromyalgia kept me from getting out of bed a couple of these days. You know sometimes I think it's worse than having the HIV alone when these things hit you because these will keep you down to where you cannot move. You will hear some say they have to take pain medications for them but you don't hear how they end up hooked on them as well. I try not to take any more than I have to for the simple fact I was hooked on them at one time.

As for the Arthritis it is a whole other story in itself and everyone asks me how someone at my age can have this. WELL it runs in my family and I have had it for about ten years now. I have it in my hands, legs, back, and arms. I had a couple of these days and had to take a couple of days off work to recoup myself so I can keep on going.

OK sorry enough about me and my pain last month I wrote about transmissions and HIV+ individuals who are dating HIV- individuals. I left a bunch of links for people to read and get more information about HIV and to learn as much as they can so that others won’t be so scared of us. We are tired of being in hiding and want to be able to be part of society. I sit and think of my life and the way it has played out for me and the things I have done, but to be totally honest I don't think I would change any of it. For the most part I'm a happy person till someone gets me down then I start to think why I try anymore. Well a post on my Facebook page came down the wall the other day and reminded me why I keep trying and will continue to fight this stigma.

It was a picture of a young boy who was from the state I live in and only lived about forty five minutes away from me when I was a kid. He is mine and everyone else’s who has HIV/AIDS hero to this day. “RYAN WHITE” if not for him and his bravery and courage we may not have some of the lifesaving medications we have today. His birthday was December 6^th and when I saw his face come down my wall I realized how lucky I was to be here while the medications have gotten better and we can live much longer lives now because of them. He fought to be able to stay in school with other students as he fought to stay alive today.

Also have been giving a point to put out there how others look at us and use us for their own personal gain. I was recently sent pictures of post cards in a Barnes and Noble store that to me and some others who are also positive offensive. At first look and thought you kind of laugh at them but then after thinking about it they became offensive to us. How can someone make a post card that says “Now that you have AIDS you don't have to worry about catching AIDS” to me this is like how a gay person will in the gay community call another gay a “fag” but if a straight person calls a gay a “fag” it is a hate crime. Maybe I take these things to heart to much but if It is out there like this how are we supposed to fight the stigma that we carry.

Well for the most part “I” am an average person but those of us with HIV I would almost bet money we take better care of ourselves than those without because we absolutely have to. This is a short write for this month but I hope that there will be more comments coming in this month to see what others really feel about us. Last month there wasn't too many so please feel free to leave them. You can leave them anonymous if you please and don't have to leave an email. We encourage any and all comments from everyone.

Know this has been a shorter story for me and will try to make them like the first few were. I have been fairly busy this month and it has made it kind of hard to get on here to write. Until then PLEASE be-safe and have fun out there, and for the guys “WRAP IT UP” and for the ladies “MAKE HIM WRAP IT UP”

Aaron