Up Close & Personal with Dab
My name is Dab Garner and I was one of the first Americans to be diagnosed with HIV when it was called GRID (Gay Related Immune Deficiency). I was diagnosed on 2/14/82 with PCP and GRID which makes me a long term survivor of HIV and AIDS. I am now a 30 year survivor/activist/speaker/blogger and creator of Dab the AIDS Bear.
After being diagnosed while in quarantine at San Francisco General Hospital, I was told I would not live to see my 20th birthday which was only six weeks away. I had already lost my first partner and best friends to complications from GRID. They were the reason I started giving teddy bears to those in quarantine starting in 1981. It broke my heart to have to watch friends and my partner die without being able to hold them so I gave them teddy bears to let them know someone cared, loved them and was thinking about them. The bears eventually were given the name Dab the AIDS Bears in 1985.
After I was released from quarantine, I became an activist because no one was talking about GRID. Over the years, I helped other people with HIV set up the first AIDS services organizations, ACT Up and other services. In the late 80s, I was one of the activists to testify at Congress and work with Senator Kennedy to get funding for people with HIV/AIDS which ended up being called Ryan White funding.
During the 80s and 90s, I participated in clinical trial studies, continued my activism work, started speaking around the country and was god-father to one of the first children born with HIV in San Francisco. In 1985, her mother had died shortly after childbirth and they did not know who the father was. Candace was also born deformed because of Alcohol Fetal Syndrome. As you can imagine, no one wanted a child with HIV in the mid 80s much less a deformed child with HIV. So my second partner (who was also positive) and I took her home to take care of her and let her know she was loved. Unfortunately, she died from complications due to AIDS in 1989. My partner died a few weeks later. In Candace's memory, I started doing Christmas parties for kids with HIV and AIDS which eventually were called Teddy Bear Touchdowns. This year is the 22nd anniversary of the Teddy Bear Touchdowns with the event now being world wide in 12 countries.
I started Dab the AIDS Bear Project in 2003 because of ADAP waiting lists starting in the United States and someone I knew died in Kentucky on their ADAP waiting list. Having lost over 10,000 friends before life saving anti-HIV meds became available in 1996, it upset and enraged me that any Americans was denied access to life saving anti-HIV meds.
The adventures of Dab the AIDS Bear and myself have been covered by many publications, television shows and multi-media over the past 30 years including POZ Magazine, A & U magazine, Soap Opera Digest, AARP Magazine, POZIAM Radio, Who's Positive Radio, USA Today, 60 Minutes, CNN Headline News, CNN Newsroom, The Body, HIV Plus Magazine, The Miami Herald, The LA Times and many others. We are at over 100 events a year including AIDS Walks, Rides, Conferences, LGBT Prides, health fairs and other events.
I am participating in Real Stories, Real People because as a long term survivor of HIV/AIDS and activist for our community, I would like to help end stigma, inspire those who are infected with HIV and continue my HIV/AIDS awareness, education and prevention to those who are not infected. For more information on Dab the AIDS Bear Project, I invite you to visit: http://www.dabtheaidsbearproject.com.
Big Bear Hug,
Daddy Dab
A Day in the Life of My Body
Being a long term survivor with HIV and AIDS, I never know what a day is going to bring me. As I quickly approach fifty and my 31st year of living with HIV, I have to deal with COPD, heart and circulatory problems, neuropathy, spinal problems, side effects from all the medications and the everyday changes in growing older. But considering I was told I wouldn't live to see 20, I am very grateful to still be around as I approach 50 in a few months.
This morning, I awaken to my back screaming at me. I was in a motorcycle crash several years ago which caused massive trauma to my spinal cord. I also have disc and connective tissue degeneration in my spine. My pain is further complicated by neuropathy from the high doses of Norvir and Zerit that people with HIV had to take in the 90s. So I have to take pain killers to be able to function somewhat normally. My partner, Todd, also has back and other problems from being a long term survivor so we were both consoling each other as we struggled to get out of bed today.
We take our morning medications around 10am after doing our protein shakes and a light breakfast. (We take our nightly doses of medications at 10pm.) We both work out regularly to help stay in shape, fight high blood pressure and keep our muscle tone since we are both fighting chronic HIV wasting. I have been dealing with HIV wasting since the early 90s and have to take testosterone shots. My body will not store any fat so the only way I can keep my weight up is by working out and building muscle. It helps having a workout partner on those days when I do not really feel like working out. Even if we just do a few sets of a couple of exercises for each muscle group.
Since it is going to be a rainy day today, we are keeping our schedules light and enjoying our time with each other. Yesterday, I proposed to Todd in the garden. We both had brought up getting married a couple of times in conversation including yesterday at the beach so while I was confident what his answer would be I was still anticipating his affirmative answer. While he knew we both wanted to spend our lives together, he was surprised when I popped the question. After visiting several jewelry stores around Fort Lauderdale, we finally picked out our wedding rings. We both decided on the basket weave because of the design and the fact we wanted them to obviously be wedding rings. The smile on his face and tears in his eyes as I put his ring on his finger made my heart skip a beat. We plan on getting married in about a year and going to Hawaii for our honeymoon. Todd has never been to Hawaii so I look forward to sharing my favorite place on Earth with him.
So today is going to be spent lazily around the house making meals for each other and enjoying the day. We have a very busy week coming up. Todd has been having seizures for a few weeks and the doctor has ordered tests and a CAT Scan. I have some dental work on Tuesday after his scan. Todd has been very upset about the seizures which have become more frequent with every passing day so I hope the doctor can figure out the cause this next week so we can get the problem taken care of quickly. Nothing in life is more painful that watching the person you love going through pain and stress over the health.
For anyone reading this blog who is newly diagnosed or a short time HIV/AIDS survivor, please know the problems we are having health wise are caused from several factors which you hopefully never have to deal with while living with HIV. We both had to deal with many years of living with HIV, HIV medications which are either no longer used or used in much lower dosages and we are both getting older. Clinical trial studies show that people being diagnosed with HIV now can expect to live many healthy years.
Now I am going to close for this blog. Remember life is not a dress rehearsal so get out there and do something special for yourself. If Dab the AIDS Bear is coming to an event in your city, we hope you will come out, get your picture taken with Dab the AIDS Bear in support of people living with HIV and AIDS.
Wishing you health, hope and happiness!
Big Bear Hug,
Daddy Dab
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