Ferni Yuniarti 2

Up Close & Personal with Ferni

Hi, my name is Ferni Yuniarti and I am a 31 year old HIV positive woman living in Indonesia. I have been previously married twice.  During my first marriage, I gave birth to a son and then my husband passed away from medical complications. I then remarried and had two beautiful daughters. I eventually divorced my second husband because he was an unfit father and husband.

It all started for me at the age of 14, when I met a person who was addicted to drugs. We became friends and after a while I could not bear to see him all alone in his addiction, so I began to spend more and more time with him. One day I decided to try the drugs and they made me feel good. I then began injecting the drugs on a regular basis and it was only a matter of time before I became addicted.

My life began to get out of control because of my drug addiction, so I decided to get help. I checked into a drug rehab on March 22, 2003. While in the rehab, the doctors placed me on psychiatric medicine as part of the treatment for my addiction.  Approximately two weeks into treatment, I had a blood test done. The results came back showing that I was HIV positive. My initial reaction was to laugh because I could not understand how I could have caught HIV. In all of my years of addiction, I thought I was safe from HIV because I did not share needles.

I spent day after day in the rehab center trying to figure out how I caught the virus, and then it came to me. One day my friend was so dope sick that I decided to share my drugs with him. I was able to find some new needles, but not syringes. I thought I would be safe as long as we did not share the same needle. As a result of sharing the same syringe, I became infected with HIV.

While in rehab, I became very ill from the HIV virus. My parents were contacted and informed of my condition. They were very upset with me to learn of all this news. It was recommended that I be removed from the center in order to receive treatment for my HIV. I left the rehab, but unfortunately the doctors were not able to do much for me at the time and I was returned to the center.

For the next eight months I remained in critical condition while being treated by the doctor at the rehab.  He recommended that my parents begin praying for me to heal. During this time I was still struggling with my HIV status. I started thinking about my life and knew that I wanted to live in order to provide a future for my children.  I knew that I needed to accept my disease in order to begin healing. As soon as I accepted my new reality, my medical condition started to improve. I was motivated to move forward in my life.

I completed treatment and moved back home with my family. Over the years my relationship with my family has become strained because they no longer support the spirit of my life. I learned to reach out to others in the HIV and recovery community for support.

Presently I am still clean and sober, continue working with doctors to improve my health and dealing with a new set of challenges. The stigma attached to HIV and drug addiction remains embedded in everyday life in my community. Recently a few friends and I decided to start a group to help HIV positive people with drug addiction. The group has been going really well. I am participating in this Project to show people it is possible to rise from adversity, encourage those struggling to keep fighting and let them know that they do not need to be ashamed to reveal who they really are. I also want to let those who have the same condition as me to know that they are not alone at war with this HIV virus.

A Day in the Life of My Body

This past month has been a really crazy month for me on my page, as well as outside of it. This writing is going to cover some of the hatred that I, along with many other HIV positive individuals, have to deal with on a regular basis as we live our lives.

It first started with a person who decided to judge who HIV positive people can or cannot love. When it comes to the subject of love, I believe it is something personal and something that happens naturally between TWO people. What right does someone outside of a relationship have to pass any judgment on what two people are experiencing together? I know when I go searching for love, it is what love brings to me and I judge no one for anything.

At times, because of the negative people like this, many HIV positive people want to give up. Even when I have lost all motivation to keep going, I know I don’t want to go like many others have gone before me and I am using them as my motivation to keep going and live the best life I possibly can. Fortunately there are those who don’t look at us this way and they are the ones we learn to lean on for support and spirit. I am grateful for those individuals who are willing to give their support. Amen!

I am participating in this Project to help educate others, offer support, and to help fight the stigma associated with HIV. Lately I have been seeing that we need it more than ever.  I just want to share my strength and experience with others to show there is hope, even living with HIV.

My hope from these last couple of months is that these people will come to see that we are human beings, and like everyone else, we have some real feelings.

I hope in the next year STIGMA and DISCRIMINATION for HIV positive people like me is GONE.

As for love, it is a beautiful feeling. I wish more people would spend time spreading love instead of passing judgment. Amen!